Dane's Games #244

I intend sending out a deadline reminder a few days before the deadline. It will be sent to all subscribers irrespective of whether they have already submitted orders, indeed irrespective of whether they are playing any games.

I shall be sending out individual reminders after the deadline to those players whose orders are still missing.

You can get an automatic acknowledgement of your orders by formatting the subject appropriately (see 'Guidance for submitting orders').

If you do not receive DANE'S GAMES #245 within one week of the deadline and haven't received notification of a delay, please let me know – it will probably mean that the zine got lost en route to you.

IMPORTANT: If you need to send me an e-mail to ask a question about a game report or to point out an adjudication error, make it obvious from the subject of the e-mail that it's not orders! I recommend using 'query', 'question', 'error' or some such word at the start of the subject line of the e-mail. This is necessary because I usually do not read orders until I do the adjudicating. Note that many players submit orders with subject titles similar to 'Re: Dane's Games' so I automatically assume that such e-mails are orders.

House rules for 'By Popular Demand', 'Choice' and 'Where is My Mind?' are published as part of the game-starts.

6 nimmt! – 5-10 players needed. This game will not start until after the current one finishes.

Bier Börse – Derek Wilson, Kevin Lee, Steve Thomas. At least two more players required.

By Popular Demand – Kath Collman. Open to all players. There's no need to be on the waiting list to enter the game, but if you're on the waiting list, you'll get a reminder if you forget to submit orders for the first round. The game will start in issue 246.

Choice – Kath Collman. Open to all players. There's no need to be on the waiting list to enter the game, but if you're on the waiting list, you'll get a reminder if you forget to submit orders for the first round. The game will start next issue.

Grand National – game-start this issue. Open to all players. Adam Huby, Charles Burrows, Chris Hibbert, Jim Reader and Richard Smith will get a reminder if they forget to submit orders for the first round.

Where is My Mind? – Adam Huby, John Walker, Kath Collman, Richard Smith, Roger Trethewey. Preferably at least one more player required, but I'll start the game in issue 247 anyway.

Word Puzzle – Not really a game, rather a series of single-round puzzles. You can take part in as many or as few rounds as you like.

My preference is for each game's orders to be in a separate email with a subject line that concisely identifies the game.

It's a good idea to send requests to be put on waiting lists as a separate email as it's quite easy for me to overlook such requests tagged on at the end of a set of orders. Similarly with letters to the editor.

If you want to receive an automatic acknowledgement of orders, put 'ORDERS: ' (note the colon and the space!) at the start of the subject line, e.g.

I have set up a rule in my inbox assistant that will not only send an automatic acknowledgement for such emails but also put the email into a folder reserved for Dane's Games, i.e. it ensures that I find the emails when I produce the zine. Note, however, that the rule only works for some of my many email addresses, so play safe and send your orders to games*OF*dane.me.uk (where *OF* should be replaced by '@').

If you want to receive an automatic acknowledgement for other emails, put 'RDR:' (which stands for 'request delivery receipt') at the start of the subject line. I do not recommend use of this mechanism for orders, requests to be put on a waiting list, or letters for inclusion in Dane's Games: this rule in my inbox assistant does not put the emails into the folder reserved for Dane's Games, so I might accidentally misfile them manually.

Note that you'll only get the automatic acknowledgement when I next go on-line to collect my email. There are some holidays during which I do not have email access, so pay attention to what I say at the beginning of the zine about when acknowledgements won't be sent.

It would be an understatement to say that I don't enjoy shopping, though it would be more accurate to say that I don't enjoy shopping for things that I need or desperately want: in the past I have been known to browse happily in a book shop or a CD shop to see if anything catches my eye, though these days such shopping occurs online. The problem with shopping for something that I need is that it's frustrating (or worse) when I can't track it down.

I'm sure I've previously commented about how stores seem to use my loyalty cards to monitor what I'm buying so that they can stop stocking it. That used to happen even before the advent of loyalty cards, so they must have been going to the trouble of having someone follow me round the store. Or maybe the check-out operator was debriefed about my purchases. Not that I'm being paranoid, you understand! Examples in recent years, which I've probably mentioned in previous issues, have been:

* Waitrose gooseberry preserve: no longer stocked by my local Waitrose or indeed any other branch within about ten miles, so I have had to make do with strawberry or raspberry jam for the last five years. ☹

* Co-op decaffeinated instant coffee: no longer stocked by any of their small, convenience stores that litter Woking and the surrounding area. To get this I have to cycle to a larger store on the outskirts of Guildford or call at one in Farncombe on the way back from a cycle ride. More usually I make do with something from Waitrose instead.

* Santa María jalapeños: by far the best of the four brands of jalapeños that Waitrose used to stock. At least with this I had the last laugh. Having put up for couple of years with the other inferior brands that Waitrose were still stocking, I discovered that the Santa María ones could be bought in bulk online. I'm currently down to about my last dozen jars, so in a few months will be faced with more rummaging on the internet to restock, though a quick search has just revealed that both Asda and Morrisons claim to stock this brand. Both have stores near me, so if I can get to one of them before one of you tips them off, maybe I can defer having to buy online.

* Waitrose frozen chopped spinach: I never used to buy their frozen whole-leaf spinach, so of course they discontinued the chopped variety while keeping the whole-leaf one. Fortunately I have a Sainsbury's nearby – indeed it's much nearer than Waitrose – and they haven't yet noticed that I'm buying their own-brand frozen chopped spinach. They have, however, indulged in shrinkflation, the former 1kg packs now being a mere 900g.

* Ambrosia organic rice pudding: this was much better than the ordinary Ambrosia rice pudding, not because it was organic, but because it used only full milk rather than a mix of full and skimmed milk, so was much creamier. When Ambrosia discontinued this line, I rummaged around online and discovered M&S creamy rice pudding, also made from full milk. Having eagerly awaited the opening of the new M&S in Woking, I was eventually able to get my fix of decent rice pudding, though it wasn't as good as the Ambrosia organic one had been. Consequently I didn't eat rice pudding as often as previously, which did have the advantage of reducing how often I missed the gooseberry preserve. Earlier this year, however, my stock was getting sufficiently low that I decided it was time to top up. Guess what my local M&S no longer stocks! Meanwhile Ambrosia have introduced a deluxe rice pudding, so maybe I'll have to make do with that in future, though I wasn't wildly impressed the first time I tried it.

The other frustration is when no one seems to make what I want, even though it seems no more outlandish than some of the things that companies do make. You might recall that last issue I mentioned the demise of one of my microwaves. It occurred to me that if one could buy a double microwave, this might be an opportunity to make some space on my worktop by retiring the other microwave too. Double ovens are ten a penny, but double microwaves, not a chance! How about microwaves designed to be stackable? Well, yes, but they're clearly aimed at catering establishments, so seem to be at least 1800W and large, not what I want at all. While searching for 'stackable microwave' I came across microwave plate stackers, so evidently I'm not the only person in the entire world that sometimes wants to cook more than one thing at a time in a microwave, but I'd much rather use two microwaves independently than have to work out that four minutes for X and six minutes for Y might become two minutes for Y followed by eight minutes for X and Y together. And then there'd be the question of whether the microwave was big enough to hold X on top of Y. So for the moment I'm stuck with shuffling items in and out of the one microwave while I decide whether to buy a like-for-like replacement second microwave or give the microwave plate stackers a go.

Another annoying recent example is shorts. My preference is for ones that go down to about midway between crotch and knee, but I'll happily wear slightly longer ones – indeed that's what my current two pairs are – and in extremis I'll even wear shorter ones, though having the bottom of the pocket dangle below the hemline is silly. What I refuse to wear are shorts that go down below the knee. Earlier this summer I realised that my two current pairs of shorts were wearing out, so I'd probably need new ones for my trips to the Canaries. Guess what length shorts the fashion industry has decreed for men this year! Yes, ones that go to below the knee. That's all that the three shops that I looked in had available, so I might well have to press my silly short shorts, which are now over 30 years old, into use for my trips, though maybe I'll be able to find something sensible in Tenerife.

You might well have seen lycra-clad cyclists wearing bib shorts or bib tights. Effectively they are shorts and full-length trousers that have straps over the shoulders to hold them up rather than having some method of tightening at the waist. Cross-country skiers also tend to wear bib tights, but unsurprisingly not bib shorts. For balance it's better to have one's possessions in a bum bag rather than in a rucksack when cross-country skiing, but the strap of a bum bag would press down on a waist tightener, so its absence on bib tights is a big plus. Therefore I bought two pairs of bib tights many years ago. Both had a zip at the front, which made offloading excess liquid very easy. Once the first pair started to wear out, I looked for a replacement. None of the bib tights available these days have a zip at the front. Perhaps the thinking is that young athletes competing in a race lasting two or three hours have no need to relieve themselves, and who cares about pensioners out skiing for longer periods? Or maybe someone has decided that in the interests of sexual equality men should now find it as inconvenient to go to the loo (take off jacket and any other top layer to get down to the straps of the bib tights, pull straps off shoulders, pull bib tights down, and then reverse the procedure when ready) as women have always done.

I used to do multi-day walking trips in the mountains in Austria, which meant carrying a large rucksack with waist strap, which pressed on whatever was holding my trousers or shorts up, so it occurred to me to wonder if ordinary, i.e. not lycra, bib shorts or bib trousers existed. A friend said she thought she'd once seen an East European wearing something along those lines in the mountains, but my online searches revealed nothing. That was a great pity as these days I prefer to use a bum bag rather than a small rucksack on my day walks in the Canaries, so not only do I suffer the discomfort of my shorts' belt loops being pressed onto my hips, I also tend to find my shorts being pushed down by the bum bag.

One could try excusing the non-existence of walking bib shorts and trousers by pointing out that they would be catering for a very niche market, but in the name of sanity I pray that the market for reindeer hats is even more niche, though it turns out that one can choose from a variety of designs. Do we really live in an insane world? On second thoughts don't answer that question!

Alex Richardson announced the 2024 UK Games Zine Poll shortly after I'd sent the last issue of DG out. In the latest issue of Obsidian, which Alex has numbered 307.5 on the grounds that it lacks the usual chat (thereby doing himself a disservice as many zines, including early issues of DG, are also effectively nothing but games reports), he reports that his father died not long thereafter. Unsurprisingly his world is in turmoil, even more so than normal for people in that situation. For the last three years Alex has been a live-in carer in his father's housing association flat, so in fairly short order he will be faced with finding both a job and somewhere to live.

If you have seen a notification of the Zine Poll elsewhere, you should ignore the postal address that might have appeared in it. Alex's updated announcement is below (except that I have as usual replaced the '@' in the email address with '*OF*', so you must do the opposite), so all occurrences of 'I' therein refer to Alex, not to me. I note that in the eligibility section there's first a reference to the British Isles and then one to the UK, but they are not identical entities. Given the title of the poll, I assume UK is meant in both places, though if there are no zines published in the Republic of ireland, it makes no difference.

b) WHICH ZINES ARE ELIGIBLE? Any zine published in the British Isles which has produced an issue in 2024 (up to and including the Poll deadline); is distributed by post, as an e-mail, as an attachment to an e-mail or as a download from a website; and runs games that we would recognise as "postal" ones (e.g. Diplomacy, Railway Rivals, 18xx, En Garde! or United, among many others).

N.B. The zines should be UK ones but the voters may come from anywhere -- all that matters is that you are a regular reader.

c) HOW TO VOTE. This year I'd like you to list up to 10 eligible zines, from "most" to "least" favourite, in any combination of tied or single spots that you wish. Editors may vote for their own zines. Votes should be sent by e-mail from the voter's own account to alex.bokmal*OF*googlemail.com.

The Poll deadline will be midnight on THURSDAY 31ST OCTOBER 2024. Results will be sent by e-mail to each voter and published by at least one of the editors whose zines you read.

As for this year's runners and riders, I think it's between: Astradyne, Astro, Capricorn, The Celestial Dragon, The Cunning Plan, Dane's Games, Extra Time, Ford Super League, FourTrack Mainline, Fury of the Northmen, God Save The Zine, Hopscotch, In Off The Post, ...mais n'est-ce pas la gare?, Minstrel, Ninety Minutes, Obsidian, Ode, Open Management, PUMA, Striker, Top of the League, To Win Just Once, United Side of Hopscotch, Variable Pig, Will This Wind. If I have missed anyone, though, then please shout...

Below are details of other e-zines I am aware of. Many editors charge neither a subscription fee (except for printed copies in those instances where that is an option) nor gamestart fees, but there are some exceptions. I have noted the ones that I am aware of, but there might be others.

For those zines that I receive, I have included details of when the last issue appeared. Note that I have replaced the '@' in email addresses by '*OF*' so that there's less chance of them falling into the hands of spammers.

Runs: RR, Dominion, Love Letter, Jabba's Palace, Snakes and Ladders, WitWiKN?, and Fuzzy Borders; with waiting lists for 6-Nimmt!, Breaking Away!, Golden Strider, Machi Koro, and Eat Me!

Editor: Richard Smith (richard530smith*OF*btinternet.com), ably assisted by John Walker, Howard Bishop and Jim Reader.

Runs: Diplomacy, Not-so-Intimate Diplomacy, Much More Demiurgic Diplomacy, Midnight Party, Sliding Gliding Worlds (cascade of varying boardgames), and various Word games including an SF&F By Popular Demand and a Tolkienien Press game.

For those of you with a grudge against trees here are details of some zines that I am aware of that are only available as hardcopy and for which there is of course a subscription fee, details of which are available from the editor:

Runs: Britannia, Chess, Civilization, Conquistador, Diplomacy (waiting lists not necessarily currently open for all of these though)

If anyone is aware of any other zines or e-zines, knows that the information above is inaccurate, or can fill in any of the gaps above, please let me know. Zine editors in particular are encouraged to provide more accurate information for their own zines: for the zines I receive I don't check to what extent their waiting lists have or have not changed.

If anyone feels like mentioning "Dane's Games" elsewhere, this is a suitable summary:

Runs: 6 nimmt!, Bier Börse, By Popular Demand, Choice, Outpost, Reduced Randomness Railway Rivals, Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?, Where is My Mind?

Letters should preferably be sent in separate emails with a subject title such as 'Letter' so that I know that the contents are for publication rather than addressed solely to me (I usually treat comments about unfinished games as being addressed solely to me unless they are of a very general nature or referring to things that have already happened, but I tend to assume that the contents of other emails are fair game as letters, so if you most definitely don't want something published, identify it as 'not for publication').

[Mike Pollard] I was amused to read that John Wayne's real name was Shirley Crabtree! He must have been a much better actor than I thought if he was able to don a leotard and go 6 rounds with Giant Haystacks (who no doubt was played by Lee Marvin).

[Steve Thomas] John Wayne was born Marion Robert Morrison. Shirley Crabtree was the real name of the wrestler who performed as "Big Daddy".

[Me] The way in which this error came about speaks volumes for just how low my rational thought processes had sunk during the period when I was producing last issue, as also evidenced by the fine collection of GMing errors and some blunders in orders I sent to other GMs at the time. I don't think it was so much that I was more error-prone than usual – I've always had a great ability to do absurd things if I wasn't concentrating properly (in my teens my parents were puzzled to find me rolling around on the floor in laughter after I had absent-mindedly thrown a Mars bar wrapper into the toilet rather than the rubbish bin) – as that the part of my mind that usually spots such idiocies ("And just how long do you think that meal is going to take to cook in the fridge?") had apparently gone on holiday. I hope it's back by now.

I knew there was a well-known male called Shirley. I also knew that John Wayne's birth name was one that I associate with women (though I see that Wikipedia describes 'Marion' as unisex). But were these pieces of knowledge related? The sensible way of answering that question would have been to look at John Wayne's Wikipedia entry, but instead I googled for "John Wayne Shirley". The first hit was "So, John Wayne's real name was Shirley Crabtree and Big Daddy's real name was Marian Morrisson." That allowed me to fall into the common trap of believing some nonsense from the internet (if I'd examined the hit, I'd have noticed it was a tweet by a comedian, and for all I know it might have been intended to be humorous) merely because it matched what I already suspected. I should have wondered why John Wayne's Wikipedia entry wasn't prominent in the hits.

[Me, last issue] (cf Princess Michael, though her birth name is Marie-Christine Anna Agnes Hedwig Ida von Reibnitz)

[Steve Thomas] The case of Princess Michael of Kent (and you're not supposed to miss out the "of Kent") is somewhat different. Princess Michael of Kent is her title, not her name – she acquired it by marrying Prince Michael of Kent. Her title is used on formal occasions, while her nearest and dearest presumably call her "Marie-Christine". There are some women whose given name is, genuinely, Michael, but they appear to be rare, and largely recent and American.

[Me] In this case the problem was that I expressed myself poorly. I didn't really believe that she and her husband called each other 'Michael'! Rather I meant that to the world at large she was associated with that masculine name.

Can anyone think of another example of this? Prince Michael of Kent is the only one I can think of in which the man's name is part of the title in such a way that it then becomes part of the wife's title. For example Prince Charles was Prince of Wales, not Prince Charles of Wales, so Diana was Princess Diana, not Princess Charles of Wales.

Initially I was surprised by this use of the husband's name in the wife's title, but it subsequently occurred to me that at one time it was quite possibly very common. Imagine a married couple, John and Mary Smith. If I were sending a Christmas card to them, I would write "Mr and Mrs J Smith" in the address on the envelope. If I were sending a birthday card to just her, I would write "Mrs M Smith" on the envelope, but at one time "Mrs J Smith" would have been used. For all I know, maybe it still is by some people. That then prompted me to wonder if at one time it might have been customary to refer to "Mrs John Smith". I thought I might have seen this at some stage, but maybe I was thinking of "Mr and Mrs John Smith". A bit of rummaging on the internet has, however, found someone asserting that that was the etiquette of his mother's (born 1941) generation, so maybe it hung around long enough for me to have encountered it.

[Jim Reader] Hope you're doing well. Not too much to comment on this time as I never got into Diplomacy, either postally or ftf. However, I can confirm, if it wasn't already, that I do receive Dane's Games and read it.

[Me] Well, you've been submitting orders for your games, so I knew you were reading at least some of it! Some people read only the games they're playing in, while others play in no games but read other parts of the zine, perhaps even as little as the list of cons. It was the people that were binning DG completely unread that I was weeding out. I wonder if/when those five people will notice that something undesirable is no longer appearing in their inbox. I suspect it might not be for a while. I used to subscribe to NASA's Climate Change Newsletter. Earlier this year – I think it was June plus or minus a month – it occurred to me that I hadn't seen one for a while. Some rummaging in my email hoard revealed that the last one had been in December. I headed off to the website to catch up on the articles that I'd missed in the intervening months, only to discover that it had been redesigned to be useless if what one wanted to do was read the articles in chronological order.

[Me, last issue] I apparently had no recollection whatsoever of the preposition 'de'.

[Steve Thomas] As well as the 'de facto' you cite, you might well have mentioned

The last became somewhat famous as the title given posthumously to the novella-length letter Oscar Wilde wrote to Lord Alfred Douglas while imprisoned in Reading Gaol.

There are other Latin tags starting 'de', but are in my opinion less well known.

[Me] Of your list only 'de jure' is well known to me, and even that is really only because of its use as a counterpoint to 'de facto'.

I had a fairly disastrous trip back to England last month. The trip was planned for the Cropredy festival, but we also arranged to have our first meeting with the solicitor to start the Probate application for my father's estate. The meeting was scheduled for 2.30pm on the Monday (before Cropredy) in Colchester. I had booked flights on the Saturday night so we would have time on the Sunday to recover and prepare. The first thing that went wrong was that Jacqueline decided not to come with me, as our last trip was so stressful she couldn't face it. Fortunately, I was able to cancel her flight fairly easily via Expedia.

[Me] Based on what follows, Jacqueline made a good decision and avoided a lot of stress.

[Jim Reader] I had decided to try flying American Airlines from Philadelphia this time as booking with United (our usual route via Newark) has got so difficult, I gave up. It is virtually impossible to book a simple economy class fare for 2 people sitting together without a raft of hidden fees, particularly regarding reserving seats. While AA was, on listed price, slightly more expensive, I was able to make the booking at the price quoted. However, I am not a big fan of American Airlines and my last 4 domestic trips with them for business had all gone wrong, somehow. I arrived at Philly airport in good time on the Saturday night to be confronted with a long check in line as the automated check in machines were all offline. Once checked, I learned that flight would be delayed an hour - no problem, time for a beer. We finally boarded the plane around 11.30 and sat on board waiting to move. One hour later, we were told to get off the plane as the flight was cancelled due to lack of crew. I think the co-pilot failed to show or was moved to another flight. There was the usual chaos at the gate as passengers milled around trying to get information - no hotel support and a huge line for rebooking. I eventually got a message that I had been rebooked to a flight tomorrow via Zurich, arriving in London near noon.

With no other help available, I got an uber home ($220 out of pocket - no traveler protection in the US) and rebooked the following morning to Sunday flight direct to Heathrow. This would give me more chance to get to Colchester in time for the solicitor's appointment. I also rebooked car hire so I would pick up the car from Stansted, as there would be no chance of getting round the M25 in time. Fortunately, the Sunday flight to Philadelphia did manage to leave on time.

[Me] During the Brexit campaign I felt that the Remain campaign should have done more to highlight things introduced by the EU that had benefitted people. Traveller protection would have been one. Free mobile roaming would have been another. Some phone companies have retained it post-Brexit, but not as many as claimed at the time to have no plans to reintroduce roaming charges.

[Jim Reader] However, as I knew I would be taking stuff from my Dad's house home, I had checked my bag on the Friday night and they wouldn't return it from the aborted Friday night flight. Once at Heathrow, I waited without 40 other people from the canceled flight for our bags that never came. Somehow, I think they failed to deliver the bags from every person who had rebooked to the Sunday flight. I was one of the first to decide that the bags were lost, so was one of the first in line to file the claim for the missing bag, before dashing off to get the Elizabeth line to Liverpool street and train to Colchester. My brother picked me up from the airport and we made it to the solicitor just in time. After the meeting, David took me to Stansted where I picked up the hire car.

Next day, I spent about 2 hours on the phone trying without success to get through to the American Airlines baggage team. I also unloaded the wardrobe in Dad's garage of all our camping and festival equipment, so I could take it to Winchester the next day. Wednesday started well as I picked up some clothes from Tesco's, saving the receipts for American Airlines, but soon went downhill as I headed down the A12 towards the M25. I just passed the last exit before the M25 and rounded the bend to join the 4 mile traffic jam to the M25 exit. It took another 2 hours to reach the M25 and I couldn't face trying to get round the roundabout to go westbound and went eastbound over the Dartford bridge. Fortunately, this wasn't too bad.

Thursday was great - nothing went wrong and I enjoyed the first day of the festival. Still nothing from American Airlines. Friday was beautiful and sunny. Unfortunately, I was being treated for a minor infection with Doxycycline, which increases your skin sensitivity to the sun and I duly got burnt, despite Factor 50 sunscreen, a friend lending me a long sleeved shirt and a broad hat. Fortunately, I realized the problem before it got too bad and sought cover. I did have to leave the festival for a couple of hours to buy some after sun though. Saturday was mostly cloudy and dry, perfect festival weather, although I did have to retreat to the big tent for an hour when the sun came out. I left the festival after Fairport rather than camping overnight, so I could get a headstart on the long drive back.

I returned the rest of the camping stuff to Winchester and then stopped for breakfast, where I noticed in my junk email, some messages from a company at Heathrow about my bag. American Airlines outsource their bag return, but still the first email was dated on the Thursday. I tried calling the number listed, but couldn't get through (there's a surprise) so left an email message and drove back to Harwich. Fortunately, the M25 was clear and I got back in good time. A few more calls and emails and I finally received the bag at 10pm on Sunday night, 8 days after dropping it off at Philadelphia. I had enough time to unpack the post and repack with stuff from my Dad's house before leaving on the Monday to return the car to Stansted. However, there was still time for more things to go wrong as the Elizabeth line had delays and my train was terminated at Hayes and Harlington, so I could join a long queue of people with heavy luggage to get in the one lift to change platform. I also managed to lose my work phone somewhere en route to Heathrow. I was rather relieved to leave England this time.

[Me] At first sight it's very understandable that you should have been relieved to be leaving England, but it becomes less understandable once one realises that you were heading back to Trumpland.

I've had a bag go astray on four occasions, all with Finnair on journeys from Heathrow to Kittilä or v.v. via Helsinki. Other than one from Darwin to Cairns via Brisbane my journeys to and from Kittilä are the only ones involving a change of plane that I have ever made, so my assumption was always that the bag had failed to transfer between planes at Helsinki. This March, however, the tracking information available online revealed that when I arrived in Kittilä, the bag was still sat at Heathrow. Fortunately I've never had to wait for the errant bag as you did: on one occasion it was delivered later the same day, while on the other three occasions it was the next day.

[Kath Collman, last issue] Oh yes and every time I ran into Steve Thomas I said "Oh it's you!" just to make him feel welcome.

[Me, last issue] I wonder how many readers will be able to understand the significance of that comment by remembering the relevant incident from last year's ManorCon.

[Me] You mean Kath didn't take the opportunity to be dismissive of your existence at last year's ManorCon too? Most remiss of her.

[Steve Thomas, in issue 235] Over the weekend of 3rd to 5th November there was MidCon. On the Friday morning I encountered our very own Kath Collman. I hailed her with a "Good morning, Kath!" She responded, automatically I suspect as a result of still-effective etiquette training with a "Good morning!" of her own. Then conscious control took over, and she turned with an evidently rhetorical "Who said that?" On detecting my presence she said "Oh, it's you" and turned back to her interaction with the organisers.

[Kath Collman, last issue] The bedrooms, as was to be expected given the outside temperature, were pretty hot though they did have opening floor-to-ceiling windows with a grille outside to prevent you committing hara-kiri.

[Steve Thomas] Harakiri needs a sword or knife, not an open window at height.

[Me] Kath obviously forgot to mention the vertically mounted swords below the windows.

Since we're on the subject of improper use of words, I'll broaden it to the use of improper forms of words. I see that in the latest issue of your zine you have again used 'vmqwhyle'. I have passed comment on this before, pointing out that it is far from a current spelling of 'umwhile' (or 'umquhile' if one is of a more Scottish persuasion). Uncommonly fond though they are of Shakespearean and Spenserian spellings, not even Scrabble players have sunk to including Middle English spellings in their lexicon. I find it bizarre that someone so fond of decrying dictionary compilers for descriptivism should choose to use a spelling documented only as a result of descriptivism applied to manuscripts from the 15th century and earlier. But as it seems you wish to do so, here are some other spellings of 'umwhile' that did not persist beyond Middle English for you to expand your vocabulary: homwill, umquhil, wmquhyle, umquil, umquile, umquille, umqwhile, wmqwhyle. Arre yiowe miyte prefere to ouse ann alde Medylle Ynglihsse spellyng vor euereche wyrd. I found it frustrating when constructing that sentence to discover that 'to' has pretty much survived without wayward spellings all the way from Old English to the present, though I did notice 'tu' in one example cited in the OED.

[Richard Smith] Regarding the Dead Pool game, whilst there is not much to do apart from waiting (rather like my Crystal Ball sports predictor) it does make you wonder "are they on the list?" whenever someone famous dies. I'm not keen on the Bourse proposal, rather I think your first idea of allowing very limited changes would be better, perhaps a "one-in-one-out" where you can swap one of your picks for an alternative. Maybe tweak the scoring system too.

An old joke I told at a family party recently failed dismally and it was suggested that the protagonists were "probably all long dead". The joke was "Isla St. Clair announced recently that she's had a polyamorous marriage to fellow singers Barry White and Brian Ferry. She now wishes to be known as Isla White-Ferry". Of course it's only the portly White who is no longer with us.

[Me] There hasn't been any positive response to the Bourse idea, so that bites the dust. One of the players in the current game has also commented that he wouldn't bother entering another, so maybe Dead Pool should suffer the fate that so few of the candidates in the current game have.

[Mick Woods, commenting on Choice] With regard to knowing the duration at start, I’m not sure it effected my strategy much as I had forgotten how many (potential) rounds I had by halfway through!

[Richard Smith] So is knowing the length of the game a good or a bad thing? It does help you decide how many numbers you want to open. For this game I opened unwanted numbers twice, once due to my mistake and once due to a horrible roll. So I knew there was no chance to recover as there weren't enough rolls. Human beings live much of their lives in false hope, so I'll say it's better not to know the game length.

[Me] No one spoke up in favour of knowing the maximum game length, so for future games I shall revert to not revealing it.

In terms of the possible rule change I am happy that a stable ha stop choose different numbers.

[Me] As something evidently went terribly wrong when you were typing that sentence, I'm not sure whether you are for or against the proposal, though probably the former. I didn't receive any other comments on it, but the more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that with the revised rules for falling there was no need to risk receiving invalid orders by forcing horses from the same stable to use different JPs. There will undoubtedly be occasions when it will be wise for them to do so, but I'll leave it to the players to spot them.

[Adam Huby] Second probably has to count as a decent result; I was a little surprised to see Michael chancing ordering Rapid to only play 1 higher than Mister Consistent at both fences, which seemed to be risking an unnecessary stumble. He'd still have scraped home against me, but under other circumstances might have opened the door for Bagel.

[Me] Although one of my aims with the revised rules was to make the game viable with a small field, you'll see that I have decided that each player will again have three horses in the new game. Not only should that avoid some players being eliminated quickly, it also gives scope for tactics by a stable.

[Brendan Whyte, commenting on the new RRRR game] You do know you're using a horrible fictional-geogrpahy map of south Africa there? You should use one of my redrawings.

[Me] It's not impossible that that was what the relevant player had in mind when he listed South Africa as one of the maps he'd like to propose for consideration, but when I'd asked for map ideas, I'd forgotten to ask players to provide links to their suggestions, so I had to go searching. When I then sent the list of maps, complete with links, to the players to vote on, no one passed any comment on the South Africa one, so it was only some time later that I became aware of your version, by which time route lengths and payouts on the other map had already been calculated. Using your map would have made life easier for me as I spent some time colouring in the ocean, rivers and mountains on Bill Brown's map to make it clear.

Before moving on to comments about the latest round of BPD categories, let's have some follow-ups to last issue's comments and categories.

[Mike Pollard] Re Britain being in the North Sea, etc, I was convinced by an online assertion that all sea areas lie within oceans. So the North, Irish, Caribbean, etc, are all covered by the greater expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. But, as I expected, that question wasn't a high scorer anyway.

[Me] Some seas certainly are considered part of an ocean. For example Wikipedia asserts that the Sargasso Sea is a region of the Atlantic Ocean bounded by four currents forming an ocean gyre. I think it's fair to say that some other seas, e.g. the Baltic, would never be considered part of an ocean. But where is the line drawn between considering a sea part of an ocean and not doing so?

[Chris Dawe, last issue] … how many people will think of Madeira as an island in the Atlantic?

[Steve Thomas] I prefer to think of it as a type of cake. I discover that it is named that because it was often taken with Madeira wine, and cake from Madeira is entirely different. Cf Flanders and Swann's "Have some Madeira, m'dear".

[Me] Back before you 'caught diabetes' from Ken you almost certainly had some cake from Madeira. Or maybe you merely had the opportunity to have some, but turned it down. I regularly used to bring bolo de mel back from my trips to Madeira.

[Mike Pollard] What lunatic would choose a different colour lipstick other than red?! Surely that's got to be maximum points and therefore an automatic joker choice, even though I can't see many people not picking carrot either. Far more tricky choices for the Baltic and battles. I'm not sure why Tewkesbury stood out for me, since it wasn't the first, last or most bloody battle.

[Me] Whereas the most bloody battle in the American Civil War proved hugely popular, the most bloody battle in the War of the Roses din't (he says through gritted teeth).

[Mike Pollard, later] Not sure how I managed to miss Bosworth first time round, what with all the Richard III publicity in recent years. Strange that it didn't feature more prominently in my internet searches. I've decided to switch my joker for 2 reasons. Firstly, there might just be a few sorts who can't believe that lipstick can be simply red (as modelled by Mick Hucknall) and opt to go for shades of red or pink. Secondly, there used to be a magic trick of sorts when I was young, where you asked someone a series of numerical questions, which acted as a distraction technique, then asked them to name a vegetable. The answer was invariably carrot, which you have previously written down on a piece of paper and then produced to the awestruck subject. So I know there's something about carrot that instantly springs into people's minds, and you've given them an extra big reason to pick it because of not being green. Fingers crossed!

[Rob Thomasson] For the battles I have gone for turning points in the respective wars – which also tend to be well known. The other choice would have been first (or maybe last) battles.

The lipstick question seems like a gimme for the Joker – but who can reliably predict the taste of your recipients? Of course it may be that you will separate out shades of red should they be proffered.

[Me] Certainly: I no longer merge similar answers (as Chris Hibbert has discovered to his cost), only identical ones, though occasionally it can be unclear which of identical and similar two answers are.

[Adam Huby] Umm... I mean, in one sense I think that this is the really obvious winner here. But I presume lipstick is like paint and comes in hundreds of different shades with stupid names like Smouldering Ember or Hint of Sunrise, and whether there are any of these that have particular recognition I haven't the faintest idea - though I wouldn't expect most of the other players to have any idea either.

[Me] I wondered if Kath would come up with something more specific, but she didn't. But was that because she knew how all the men's minds would work?

Last issue's report seems to have been one of the few that I didn't cock up then.

Hand A Turn 4

Kevin Lee plays 5 and takes 93 scoring 1

David Hooton plays 8

Brad Martin plays 25

John Walker plays 27

Jim Reader plays 42

The rows on the table for Hand A are:

b-5 a-8 (Total 3)

a-23 b-25 a-27 a-42 (Total 5)

a-48 c-60 (Total 4)

e-99 a-102 (Total 6)

The cards already played in Hand A are:

1, 3-5, 8, 15, 23, 25, 27, 32, 42, 48, 56-57, 60-62, 64, 67, 93, 99-102

Hand B Turn 4

Jim Reader plays 4

Kevin Lee plays 29

David Hooton plays 59

John Walker plays 60

Brad Martin plays 63

The rows on the table for Hand B are:

a-3 a-4 a-29 (Total 3)

a-58 a-59 c-60 a-63 (Total 6)

a-78 c-80 a-82 a-83 (Total 6)

a-92 a-93 a-94 a-96 (Total 4)

The cards already played in Hand B are:

1-4, 12, 17, 29, 47, 49, 51, 54, 58-60, 63, 78, 80, 82-83, 92-94, 96, 103

Hand C Turn 4

John Walker plays 21

David Hooton plays 22 and takes 6 7 14 20 21 scoring 7

Kevin Lee plays 59

Brad Martin plays 61

Jim Reader plays 64

The rows on the table for Hand C are:

a-13 (Total 1)

e-22 (Total 5)

g-55 a-59 a-61 a-64 (Total 10)

a-46 a-48 a-52 a-93 a-94 (Total 5)

The cards already played in Hand C are:

6-7, 13-14, 17, 19-22, 29-30, 34-35, 46, 48, 52-53, 55, 59, 61, 64, 92-94

Hand D Turn 4

Brad Martin plays 71 and takes 2 4 6 10 11 scoring 11

John Walker plays 91

Kevin Lee plays 96

David Hooton plays 99

Jim Reader plays 102

The rows on the table for Hand D are:

a-1 (Total 1)

a-71 a-91 a-96 e-99 (Total 8)

a-101 a-102 (Total 2)

b-25 a-34 e-44 b-45 a-103 (Total 11)

The cards already played in Hand D are:

1-2, 4, 6, 10-11, 13-14, 17, 23, 25, 28, 34, 36, 43-45, 71, 91, 96, 99, 101-103

21 Brad Martin

16 Kevin Lee

14 David Hooton

9 Jim Reader

2 John Walker

You should all have received an email containing details of the cards you still have in Hands A, B, C and D. Let me know if you have not.

Player Cat 1 Cat 2 Cat 3 Cat 4 Cat 5 Cat 6 Score Total Pos

Mike Pollard *Carro Giraf Swede Red Getty Boswo 121 716 1

Mike Woods Carro Goril Swede *Red Getty Boswo 113 705 2

Derek Wilson Tomat Goat Swede *Red Getty Boswo 98 649 3

Kath Collman Carro Giraf Denma Red *Getty Boswo 114 647 4

Adam Huby Carro Giraf Russi Red *Getty Marst 101 645 5

Charles Burrows Carro Goril Swede Red *Getty Boswo 114 637 6

Michael Pargman Carro Giraf Swede *Red Getty Tewke 112 633 7

John Walker Carro Giraf Swede *Red Getty Boswo 125 625 8

Ian D Wilson Carro Giraf Swede Red *Getty Boswo 126 601 9

Brendan Whyte Carro Giraf Russi Red *Getty Boswo 114 578 10

Bob Pitman *Carro Giraf Swede Red Getty Boswo 121 576 11

Rob Thomasson Carro Goril Swede *Red Getty Naseb 99 566 12

Roger Trethewey Carro Goat Denma *Red Getty Tewke 88 560 13

Jim Reader *Carro Gazel Eston Red Getty Cropr 81 557 14

Richard Smith Carro Giraf Eston *Red Getty Boswo 113 544 15

Mick Haytack *Carro Giraf Swede Red Getty Boswo 121 531 16

Chris Dawe Tomat Goat Polan *Red Getty Boswo 85 526 17

Chris Hibbert Carro Giraf Germa Rose *Getty Boswo 93 522 18

Andy York Eggpl Giraf Swede Red *Getty Boswo 110 515 19

Mike Dommett Turni *Giraf Swede Red Getty Towto 89 485 20

Brad Martin Carro Giraf Swede *Red Getty Marst 112 476 21

Kevin Lee *Potat Giraf Swede Red Getty Boswo 89 462 22

The GM *Carro Goat Swede Red Getty Towto (95) (621)

1. A vegetable that isn't green: Carrot 17, Tomato 2, Egglant 1, Potato 1, Turnip 1 (This is an example of a category where there's no shortage of answers, but we mostly agreed that one stood out from the crowd).

2. A mammal beginning with 'G': Giraffe 15, Goat 3, Gorilla 3, Gazelle 1 (Although I almost chose the giraffe, I mistakenly thought that people would go for something more within their own personal experience. I've subsequently realised, however, that most of us don't encounter goats much more frequently than giraffes. If it weren't for walking in Gran Canaria and Tenerife, I'd probably hardly ever see them).

3. A country that borders the Baltic Sea: Sweden 14, Denmark 2, Estonia 2, Russia 2, Germany 1, Poland 1 (When I conjured up a mental picture of the Baltic, I came to the conclusion that Sweden probably had the longest coastline on it. Maybe that's why most of you made the same choice as I did).

4. A colour of lipstick: Red 21, Rose 1 (I contemplated playing my joker here, but I thought there might be enough 'pink' answers for it to be a bad idea. In fact there were none).

5. A battle in the American Civil War: Gettysburg 22 (I'm surprised by the unanimity, though maybe the Gettysburg Address made it likely. I was perhaps at a disadvantage because I have an SPI American Civil War quadrigame and have played 'Shiloh' twice this year. Fortunately I decided to ignore that and instead look online for a list of battles. The discovery that Gettysburg was the bloodiest meant I joined the rest of you…).

6. A battle in the War of the Roses: Bosworth Field 16, Marston Moor 2, Tewkesbury 2, Cropredy 1, Naseby 1, Towton 0 (…whereas here Towton's similar achievement in the War of the Roses caused me to leave the rest of you, Bosworth Field having been the battle I had otherwise been going to choose).

The categories for round 10 (you all knew the fourth one was coming, didn't you?) are:

Round 22 Round 23

Adam Huby 1+4=5 3+6=9 w6 1+6=7 2+3=5 w3

Brendan Whyte 3+4=7 6+6=12 w1 1+3=4 2+3=5 w6

Charles Burrows 1+3=4 4+6=10 w6 1+3=4 2+6=8 w3

Chris Hibbert 1+4=5 3+6=9 w6 2+3=5 3+6=9 w1

David Norman 1+4=5 3+6=9 w6 1+3=4 2+3=5 w6

Derek Wilson 1+6=7 4+6=10 w3

Gary Duke 1+3=4 4+6=10 w6 1+3=4 2+3=5 w6

John Walker 3+6=9 4+6=10 w1 1+2=3 3+3=6 w6

Kath Collman 1+4=5 3+6=9 w6 1+2=3 3+6=9 w3

Kevin Lee 1+6=7 3+4=7 w6 1+6=7 3+3=6 w2

Mick Haytack 1+6=7 3+4=7 w6 2+6=8 3+3=6 w1

Mike Dommett 3+6=9 4+6=10 w1

Mike Woods 1+6=7 4+6=10 w3 1+3=4 2+6=8 w3

Richard Smith 1+4=5 3+6=9 w6 1+3=4 2+6=8 w3

Roger Trethewey 1+3=4 4+6=10 w6 1+3=4 2+3=5 w6

Score 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Würfel

Adam Huby 100 - - - 11 8 8 4 7 7 1 - 11111- 33333- 66666-

Brendan Whyte -140 - - 5 9 7 7 7 - 6 - 5 11111- 33333- 66666-

Charles Burrows 460 - - 9 - 9 8 9 - 9 - 2 11111- 33333- 66666-

David Norman 220 - - 8 6 7 - 11 6 7 - 1 11111- 44444- 66666-

John Walker 70 - 5 - 9 6 7 - 7 10 2 - 11111- 33333- 66666-

Kath Collman 200 - 9 - 9 8 - 4 8 7 - 1 33333- 55555- 66666-

Kevin Lee -390 - 6 - 6 5 8 4 9 6 2 - 22222- 33333- 66666-

Roger Trethewey -30 - - 6 9 - 8 5 8 7 3 - 11111- 22222- 66666-

PLAYERS WHO HAVE FINISHED:

Chris Hibbert 310 - - - 11 9 9 - 7 6 4 - 111111 33333- 6666--

Gary Duke 280 - - 8 9 7 - 6 7 8 - 1 11111- 5555-- 666666

Michael Pargman 280 - - 9 - 8 - 7 6 9 - 1 111--- 222222 6666--

Mike Woods 210 - - 8 - 8 8 7 7 7 1 - 11111- 333333 5555--

Mick Haytack 10 - - 9 - 10 7 7 6 4 3 - 111111 55555- 6666--

Richard Smith 0 - 8 2 7 7 - 6 7 8 - 1 333333 5555-- 66666-

Derek Wilson -140 - 6 - 7 6 7 - 5 9 - 4 2222-- 333333 5555--

Mike Dommett -1000 - 3 4 3 4 5 6 10 6 - 3 111111 33333- 555---

The dice rolls for round 24 are then 1, 1, 3, 4, 6. The inability to make 8 is a disappointment for some, but the rolls are helpful to varying extents to all the survivors except Kath. I believe the optimum moves are:

Round 24

Adam Huby 1+4=5 3+6=9 w1

Brendan Whyte 1+3=4 4+6=10 w1

Charles Burrows 1+3=4 4+6=10 w1

David Norman 1+3=4 4+6=10 w1

John Walker 1+4=5 3+6=9 w1

Kath Collman 1+4=5 1+6=7 w3

Kevin Lee 1+4=5 1+6=7 w3

Roger Trethewey 1+3=4 4+6=10 w1

Score 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Würfel

Charles Burrows 580 - - 10 - 9 8 9 - 10 - 2 111111 33333- 66666-

David Norman 340 - - 9 6 7 - 11 6 8 - 1 111111 44444- 66666-

Chris Hibbert 310 - - - 11 9 9 - 7 6 4 - 111111 33333- 6666--

Michael Pargman 280 - - 9 - 8 - 7 6 9 - 1 111--- 222222 6666--

Gary Duke 280 - - 8 9 7 - 6 7 8 - 1 11111- 5555-- 666666

Mike Woods 210 - - 8 - 8 8 7 7 7 1 - 11111- 333333 5555--

Adam Huby 200 - - - 12 8 8 4 8 7 1 - 111111 33333- 66666-

John Walker 170 - 5 - 10 6 7 - 8 10 2 - 111111 33333- 66666-

Brendan Whyte 120 - - 6 9 7 7 7 - 7 - 5 111111 33333- 66666-

Roger Trethewey 90 - - 7 9 - 8 5 8 8 3 - 111111 22222- 66666-

Kath Collman 50 - 9 - 10 8 1 4 8 7 - 1 333333 55555- 66666-

Mick Haytack 10 - - 9 - 10 7 7 6 4 3 - 111111 55555- 6666--

Richard Smith 0 - 8 2 7 7 - 6 7 8 - 1 333333 5555-- 66666-

Derek Wilson -140 - 6 - 7 6 7 - 5 9 - 4 2222-- 333333 5555--

Kevin Lee -310 - 6 - 7 5 9 4 9 6 2 - 22222- 333333 66666-

Mike Dommett -1000 - 3 4 3 4 5 6 10 6 - 3 111111 33333- 555---

* For each of seventh to twelfth occurrence of 2 through 12 score 100, 70, 60, 50, 40, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and 100 respectively.

Congratulations to Charles! And perhaps Richard deserves a prize for finishing with his start score.

With the latest attempt by Richard Smith and Mike Dommett to improve their position having failed the scores remain:

1329 MiPa Michael Pargman

882 ChHi Chris Hibbert

100 BoPi Bob Pitman

15 AdHu Adam Huby

-61 FATE FATE

-190 JoWa John Walker

-206 RiSm Richard Smith

-326 SiLa Simon Langley-Evans

-416 MiPo Mike Pollard

-617 BrWh Brendan Whyte

-722 MiDo Mike Dommett

Beyoncé : born 1981-09-04 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 43

17 points for AdHu

Boris Johnson : born 1964-06-19 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 60

0 points for FATE

David Attenborough : born 1926-05-08 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 98

-90 points for AdHu, BrWh, ChHi, JoWa, MiDo, RiSm, SiLa

David Hockney : born 1937-07-09 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 87

-67 points for MiDo, MiPo, SiLa

David Jason : born 1940-02-02 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 84

-69 points for BrWh, ChHi, MiPo, RiSm

Donald Kingsbury : born 1929-02-12 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 95

-65 points for ChHi, MiDo

Donald Trump : born 1946-06-14 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 78

-48 points for MiDo, RiSm

Eric Clapton : born 1945-03-30 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 79

-49 points for BrWh, MiPo

Franz Beckenbauer : born 1945-09-11 : died 2024-01-07 aged 78

1422 points for ChHi

George RR Martin : born 1948-09-20 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 76

-16 points for FATE

Herbie Hancock : born 1940-04-12 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 84

-64 points for BrWh, MiDo, MiPo

Holly Johnson : born 1960-02-09 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 64

-4 points for FATE

James Watson : born 1928-04-06 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 96

-36 points for ChHi

Jimmy Carter : born 1924-10-01 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 100

-90 points for BrWh, ChHi, JoWa, MiDo, RiSm, SiLa

Joe Biden : born 1942-11-20 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 82

-22 points for BrWh

Joe Johnson (snooker_player) : born 1952-07-29 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 72

-12 points for AdHu

June Spencer : born 1919-06-14 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 105

-75 points for ChHi, MiDo

Kanye West : born 1977-06-08 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 47

13 points for FATE

Keith Richards : born 1943-12-18 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 81

-66 points for BrWh, ChHi, MiPa, SiLa

King Charles III : born 1948-11-14 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 76

-16 points for FATE

Max Verstappen : born 1997-09-30 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 27

33 points for RiSm

Michael Gambon : born 1940-10-19 : died 2023-09-27 aged 82

-149 points for BrWh, ChHi, MiDo, MiPo

Nancy Sinatra : born 1940-06-08 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 84

-64 points for BrWh, MiDo, MiPo

Narendra Modi : born 1950-09-17 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 74

-14 points for FATE

Nicki Minaj : born 1982-12-08 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 42

18 points for FATE

Nigel Farage : born 1964-04-03 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 60

0 points for FATE

Phil Collins : born 1951-01-30 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 73

-13 points for SiLa

Shane MacGowan : born 1957-12-25 : died 2023-11-30 aged 65

-110 points for JoWa, MiPa, MiDo

Shannen Doherty : born 1971-04-12 : died 2024-07-13 aged 53

1447 points for MiPa

Sheila Hancock : born 1933-02-22 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 91

-31 points for FATE

Smokey Robinson : born 1940-02-19 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 84

-54 points for BrWh, MiPo

Vladimir Putin : born 1952-10-07 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 72

-42 points for MiPa, RiSm

Xi Jinping : born 1953-06-15 : if survives to end of 2024 will be 71

-11 points for FATE

* 60 divided by the number of players that selected the candidate, fractions being discarded.

* Plus 840 divided by the number of players that selected the candidate, fractions being discarded, if the candidate dies in 2024.

The scores will be updated whenever I become aware of a candidate's death. I shall check the Wikipedia pages at the beginning of both 2024 and 2025. Otherwise I shall only know that a candidate has died if I happen to see it in the news or if someone draws my attention to the event. I encourage the players to do so (it's the only thing they now have left to do in the game) not only for those candidates whose death won't get wall-to-wall coverage but also for those that will.

This game is open to all players. Each player will have three horses. To enter, for each horse tell me its name and the number of Jump Points it will use at the first fence and at the second fence.

These rules are based on the rules from the Variable Pig website, namely the v2.0 Rules by Mick Haytack as modified by Howard Bishop, but they have been rewritten and several changes have been made. Those of you that have not played Grand National before can skip to the next paragraph, but those that have played it previously should note the following changes:

* The method for determining if a horse in trouble falls has been changed so that the risk of falling increases rather than decreases as the number of horses in trouble increases.

* Horses pulling up at a fence are included in the count of horses in trouble when determining whether horses in trouble fall.

* Horses using JPs equal to a TN plus or minus one stumble if any horse pulls up at the fence or any horse in trouble at the fence falls.

* Horses from the same stable, i.e. ordered by the same player, do not need to use different numbers of JPs at a fence.

Each player takes the part of one or more horses (three for this game) that will attempt to jump all the fences successfully and finish first.

Each horse starts with 500 Jumping Points (JPs). JPs are used to attempt to clear fences. JPs can also be lost as a result of stumbling at a fence.

At each fence there are trouble numbers (TNs). Horses using JPs equal to any of the TNs at the fence will either fall or stumble badly. Horses using JPs equal to any of the TNs plus or minus one will stumble slightly if there are any fallers or horses pulling up.

Once the final fence has been jumped, the surviving horses are ranked according to the number of JPs left.

The following horses, played by the GM, will also start the race and use the specified JPs at each fence:

AQUARIUS (36 at Water Jump, total of 2d6+9 at other fences)

CHAOS THEORY (total of 5d6-1)

FADE AWAY (23 at first fence, reducing by 1 at each odd-numbered fence)

LOUNGE LIZARD (21 at the Chair, total of d6+12 at other fences)

MEDIATOR (total of 3d8)

MIDDLE MAN (20 at first fence, thereafter the median, rounded up if necessary, of JPs used by other horses at previous fence)

METRO GNOME (19 at odd-numbered fences, 14 at even-numbered fences)

MISTER CONSISTENT (16)

SLOW RISER (9 at first fence, increasing by 1 at each odd-numbered fence)

Fence 1 Plain Fence 2 Plain

Fence 3 Open Ditch Fence 4 Plain

Fence 5 Plain Fence 6 Becher's Brook

Fence 7 Plain Fence 8 Canal Turn

Fence 9 Valentine's Brook Fence 10 Plain

Fence 11 Open Ditch Fence 12 Plain

Fence 13 Plain Fence 14 Plain

Fence 15 The Chair Fence 16 Water Jump

Fence 17 Plain Fence 18 Plain

Fence 19 Open Ditch Fence 20 Plain

Fence 21 Plain Fence 22 Becher's Brook

Fence 23 Plain Fence 24 Canal Turn

Fence 25 Valentine's Brook Fence 26 Plain

Fence 27 Open Ditch Fence 28 Plain

Fence 29 Plain Fence 30 Plain

The TNs at each fence depend on its type. In the following 'lowest JP' means 'lowest JP played by any horse at the fence', and similarly for 'lowest JP+1', 'highest JP-1', and 'highest JP':

* Becher's Brook: Usually four TNs (but conceivably just two or three), equal to lowest JP, lowest JP+1, highest JP-1, and highest JP.

* Canal Turn: Two TNs, equal to lowest JP and lowest JP+1. All horses playing highest JP get a bonus of +30 JP.

* The Chair: One, two or three TNs, the result of rolling a d8, a d12, and a d20.

* Valentine's Brook: Usually two TNs (but conceivably just one), equal to lowest JP and highest JP.

* Water Jump: If any horse has used a number of JPs within one of the average number of JPs played, there are usually two TNs (but conceivably three), namely the integers within one of that average. Otherwise there is just one TN, equal to the lowest JP. All horses playing the highest JP get a bonus of +30 JP.

Each turn a player should submit orders for all their surviving horses for the next two fences. The orders for the second one can be conditional on events at the first one, e.g. how many JPs Middle Man will use at the fence, whether a specific horse is still in the race, etc.

If no orders are submitted for a horse, it will use the same number of JPs at the first and second of the fences as it used the previous turn at the first and second of those fences respectively. If orders for only one fence are submitted for a horse, the same number will be used for the other fence in the turn. In both these scenarios the GM will usually attempt to contact the player to get valid orders, but this is not guaranteed.

If a horse attempts to use more JPs than it has available, it will pull up at the fence.

Horses that use JPs equal to any of the fence's TNs are in trouble. Horses that use JPs equal to any of the fence's TNs plus or minus one are at risk. A horse cannot be both in trouble and at risk: being in trouble takes precedence.

A horse that is in trouble eithers falls or stumbles badly, i.e. is penalised by losing 20 JPs. The GM rolls a d6 for each such horse to determine its fate, which will depend both upon the die roll and upon the number of horses in trouble at the fence (horses pulling up are included in the count of horses in trouble). The following table shows the outcome:

At a plain fence At other fences

Number of horses in trouble Number of horses in trouble

1 2 3 4+ 1 2 3+

1 Fall Fall Fall Fall Fall Fall Fall

R 2 Stumble Fall Fall Fall Fall Fall Fall

o 3 Stumble Stumble Fall Fall Stumble Fall Fall

l 4 Stumble Stumble Stumble Fall Stumble Stumble Fall

l 5 Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble

6 Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble Stumble

If a horse in trouble that should stumble has fewer than 20 JPs remaining, it falls instead.

If any horse pulled up at the fence, or any horse that was in trouble fell at the fence, a horse that is at risk stumbles slightly, i.e. is penalised by losing 10 JPs. Otherwise it suffers no penalty.

If a horse at risk that should stumble has fewer than 10 JPs remaining, it falls instead.

Once the final fence has been jumped, the surviving horses, i.e. those that have not fallen or pulled up, are ranked according to the number of JPs left, i.e. the winner will be the horse with the most JPs left.

Middle Man will play the median of JPs played by other horses at the previous fence.

Orders for the above two fences, please. Orders for the second can be dependent on what happened at the first.

How come no one noticed that I'd put the David-R and Chris-L hands in the wrong order last issue? Chris did, however, notice that his right hand's unmanned ore factory had disappeared. I think that brings the tally of reports I goofed last issue to four. Not one of my finest performances!

* Colin-R auctions a Heavy equipment and gets it unopposed for 30 (o4,5; w6,6,9).

Chris-L David-R Chris-R David-L Colin-L Colin-R

OL - - - 50-64 60-66 -

Total Megas Separates

Cards 30 44 88 Ore Wat Tit Res Mic NC OM RO MO

Colin-L 7/15 1 - - 3 - - - 1 - - - -

David-R 9/15 1 - - 4 1 - - - - - - -

Chris-L 10/10 1 - - 2 4 - - - - - - -

Colin-R 8/10 1 - - 2 1 1 - - - - - -

Chris-R 9/15 - - - 3 4 2 - - - - - -

David-L 15/15 - - - 1 11 3 - - - - - -

Expected

VP Val Inc Tot Col Robot Factories Colony upgrade cards

Colin Harden-L 12 100 53 56 6/8 0/0 2O4W WH,No,OL

David Hooton-R 11 90 36 49 5/5 1+1/5 2O4W DL,WH,Ro

Chris Hassler-L 11 70 34 64 6+1/8 0/0 2O4W 3DL,No

Colin Harden-R 11 55 46 53 7/8 0/0 2O4W1T HE,No

Chris Hassler-R 10 80 30 57 5/8 0/0 2O2W1T WH,HE,No

David Hooton-L 8 55 34 110 5/5 0/0 1O3W1T1o WH,HE

David's bids for start towns that weren't on offer left me with a puzzle. Should I treat his bids as

on the grounds that the closest start town to Port Elizabeth that he hadn't bid for was East London, which would leave his Durban bid to be for Maputo? Or should I treat them as

on the grounds that he hadn't submitted bids for East London and Maputo, so they should rank behind the towns that he had submitted bids for? That would then leave the question of which of the two tie-break options should apply, the former probably being preferable on the grounds that Port Elizabeth, which he preferred to Durban, is closer to East London than to Maputo.

It seems I need to add a section to my House Rules to cope with bids for invalid start towns. I hope I'll be able to phrase that section so that it comes up with the answer that I chose on this occasion, namely:

Chris Michael Roger David

0 on EL 0 on M 0 on CT 1 on CT

pass pass 2 on CT 1 on EL

2 on EL pass pass 3 on CT

pass pass 4 on CT 1 on M

pass 2 on M pass 3 on EL

4 on EL pass pass 0 on PN

pass pass pass

Whichever interpretation I'd chosen, David was going to get Port Nolloth, but with either of the other two interpretations I think Chris and Michael would have saved 4 and 2 respectively.

Chris Hibbert: eMonti, which apparently is the name of East London in the majority dialect

David Hooton: NWSA&SWSWARR - Northwest South Africa & Southwest South West Africa RR

Michael Pargman: ROADKILL - Railroads Of Africa Do Keep Ignoring Luxurious Locomotives

When necessary to refer to a company in an abbreviated form, I shall use an abbreviation of the player's name rather than one of the company's name. That will keep the abbreviation down to a single letter, whereas I'd have to go to three letters to distinguish between Michael's and Roger's conpanies.

eMonti Yellow Chris Hibbert 20 -4 +6 = 22

(East London - C71 - - - - - _MOUNT FRERE_ - C77;

(East London) - C70 - - - - - - c64.

NWSASWSWARR Orange David Hooton 20 -0 +12 = 32

(Port Nolloth) - - - _SPRINGBOK_ - - I11 - J11 - - L12 - _BRADVLEI_ - - L15 - - - O16.

ROADKILL Green Michael Pargman 20 -2 = 18

(Maputo) - - - U41 - - - - U37 - T37 - - T35 - U34 - U33 - V33 - V32.

ROGER Black Roger Tretheway 20 -4 = 16

(Cape Town) - - - - - - Q9 - - S10 - - - - - - S16.

Newly connected cities are shown '_UNDERLINED_' (or '__DOUBLE UNDERLINED__' etc if the 6 points are split two or more ways).

For Round 2 you may build nn points (excluding payments to rivals). There are no junction or parallel payments for track built in the same round.

See the latest map (https://www.dropbox.com/s/q9fxeckn7lyy9mb/latest-rrrr.jpg?dl=1) if you want to check that you and I agree on what it looks like.

For Round 2 you may build 14 points (excluding payments to rivals). There are no junction or parallel payments for track built in the same round.

Round 7: 12-56, 21-63, 34-#5(Swaziland), 46-13, 55-22, 64-31, #1-45

Round 8: 16-61, 24-#6, 35-14, 44-23, 54-36, 65-41, #4-52

Round 9: 15-#3, 26-11, 32-25, 43-33, 53-42, 66-51, #2-62

Round 10: 12-21, 24-34, 31-46, 45-56, 55-63, 64-#1, #5(Lesotho)-13

Round 11: 16-36, 22-41, 35-52, 44-61, 54-#6, 65-14, #4-23

Round 12: 15-43, 25-53, 32-66, 42-#3, 51-11, 62-26, #2-33

Last issue a cut-and-paste error resulted in my using Waterford's coordinates for Kyiv too, thereby arbitrarily changing Simon's guessed location from Kyiv to Waterford.

* Individual area files with names such as area-Cai-How-Fam-Bay-Ton-6.gpx which show the area that is closest for the specified R1, R2, R3, R5 and R6 guesses.

Using a combination of these files, you should be able to work out what area is closest to each sequence of guesses.

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby 51.27, -1.09 Basingstoke

Amy Acker (1976-)

Bob Pitman 51.15, -2.71 Glastonbury

Serena Altschul (1970-)

Brendan Whyte 50.47, -3.53 Torquay

Arthur Lowe (1915-1982)

Chris Hibbert 52.20, 0.12 Cambridge, England

Laura Poitras (1964-)

Ian D Wilson 51.51, -0.08 Tower of London

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex (1981-)

Jim Reader 52.44, -1.65 Meriden, Warwickshire

Toni Collette (1972-)

Richard Smith 51.80, -4.97 Haverfordwest, Wales

Serena Altschul (1970-)

Simon Langley-Evans 51.97, -0.42 Barton-le-Clay, Bedfordshire

Glenda Jackson (1936-2023)

Tom Howell 47.22, 51.01 Tonbridge

Sarah Kate Ellis (1971-)

Clue to person with closest guess: There is a TV series that we have both appeared in, you in many more episodes than I. One of the other candidates and I have both starred opposite an actor, though that information is only available in his Wikipedia entry, not in mine or the other candidate's. Another of that actor's roles was John F Kennedy Jr.

* I send an email to everyone that lost the tie-break, but only if they named the same location (i.e. same lat/lon) as the person that won the tie-break.

See sections 'Overview', 'Procedure' and 'Contents of the game report' of the full description of the rules for the essential information about the game. The sections 'Notes about the clues' and 'Geographical help from the GM' are also recommended.

Anyone that wants the GPX files that provide geographical help from the GM should download this ZIP file from Dropbox (you might want to save it with a round-specific name so that you'll still have it available later if needed) and start by reading the README.htm file therein (but see above too).

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby 51.48, -3.18 Cardiff

Alyson Hannigan (1974-)

Bob Pitman 53.41, -0.55 Spital-in-the-Street

Ruth Sulzberger Holmberg (1921-2017)

Brendan Whyte 59.33, 18.07 Stockholm

Bernadotte (1763-1844)

Chris Hibbert 52.41, -1.51 Coventry, England

Serena Altschul (1970-)

Ian D Wilson 51.50, -0.12 Palace of Westminster, London

Liz Truss (1975-)

Jim Reader 43.49, -1.48 Bayonne, France

Elizabeth Kenny (1880-1952)

Richard Smith 52.26, -7.13 Waterford, Ireland

Jennifer Garner (1972-)

Simon Langley-Evans 52.26, -7.13 SEE NOTE BELOW

Peter O’Toole (1932-2013)

Tom Howell 51.75, -1.26 Oxford, England

Suki Hawley (1969-)

NB: Simon gave Kyiv as his candidate hiding place, but the GM's incompetence accidentally changed it to Waterford.

Clue to person with closest guess: Your parents and my parents have something in common. I've met at least one of the other candidates.

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby -3.12, -60.02 Manaus

Madge Blake (1899-1969)

Bob Pitman 43.26, -2.92 Bilbao

Joani Blank (1937-2016)

Brendan Whyte 48.11, -1.68 Rennes, France

Christopher Wren (1632-1723)

Chris Hibbert 65.00, -18.00 Iceland

Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Ian D Wilson 51.52, -0.17 Paddington, London

Mary Seacole (1805-1881)

Richard Smith 52.15, 1.60 Aldeburgh, Suffolk, UK

Serena Altschul (1970-)

Simon Langley-Evans 41.38, 2.18 Barcelona

Clark Gable (1901-1960)

Tom Howell 53.45, -7.10 Kinnegad

Clare Winger Harris (1891-1968)

Clue to person with closest guess: To within 10% we were born 2500km apart. My profession matches that of at least one of the other candidates, but not yours.

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby 6.13, 102.25 Kota Bharu, Malaysia

Eddie Waring (1910-1986)

Bob Pitman 23.59, 58.41 Muscat

Lyse Doucet (1958-)

Brendan Whyte 35.12, 33.94 Famagusta, Cyprus

Iacomis Mouskos (????-????)

Chris Hibbert 29.42, -98.49 San Antonio

Milton Friedman (1912-2006)

Ian D Wilson 51.51, -0.20 Notting Hill, London, England

Rosalind Franklin (1920-1958)

Jim Reader 57.28, -5.72 Kyle of Lochalsh

Jacinda Ardern (1980-)

Richard Smith 42.88, -8.54 Santiago de Compostela

Jacinda Ardern (1980-)

Simon Langley-Evans 29.76, -95.38 Houston, Texas

Amelia Earhart (1897-1939)

Tom Howell 48.11, -1.68 Rennes, France

George Patton (1885-1945)

I treated Amelia Earhart as dying when she was declared dead rather than when she went missing.

Clue to person with closest guess: Our fathers shared a name. We missed each other by more than a decade.

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby -6.23, 39.40 Jozani Chwaka Bay National Park, Zanzibar

Kenneth Clark (1903-1983)

Bob Pitman 53.20, 63.62 Kostanay

Yevgeny Prigozhin (1961-2023)

Brendan Whyte 24.44, 118.33 Quemoy

Patrick MacNee (1922-2015)

Chris Hibbert 27.17, 78.04 Taj Mahal

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

Ian D Wilson 54.06, -0.88 Howsham, Yorkshire

George Hudson (1800-1871)

Jim Reader -23.94, -46.32 Santos, Brazil

Pelé (1940-2022)

Richard Smith 28.47, -16.25 Santa Cruz de Tenerife

Penelope Cruz (1974-)

Tom Howell 22.47, 70.07 Jamnagar, Gujarat, India

Sujata Sharma (1970-)

Clue to person with closest guess: Your gender is not the same as mine. We were born on different continents (I'm using the seven-continent model).

Player Lat Lon Candidate Hiding Place & Kendo

Adam Huby 50.00, 8.27 Mainz, Germany

Marc Chagall (1887-1985)

Bob Pitman 23.14, -82.36 Havana, Cuba

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

Brendan Whyte -15.97, -5.70 St Helena

Diana Rigg (1938-2020)

Chris Hibbert 30.04, 31.24 Cairo, Egypt

Vernor Vinge (1944-2024)

Ian D Wilson 54.97, -1.82 Wylam, Northumberland

George Stephenson (1781-1848)

Jim Reader 47.92, 106.92 Ulaanbaatar

Genghis Khan (c.1162-1227)

Richard Smith 52.59, -2.12 Wolverhampton Bus Station

Rosa Parks (1913-2005)

Tom Howell 6.07, 116.56 Mount Kinabalu, Borneo

David Attenborough (1926-)

Clue to person with closest guess: Your career and my career have little in common, but there's an interesting coincidence in what little overlap there is.

Despite having an item "Check that all steps are correct" on my checklist, which I had supposedly done (perhaps the time has come to write a program to do this check), I overlooked that Adam had gone from TILES to HIDES in one step in last issue's first word pair. One of the other players was paying more attention. TIDES was obviously the word missing from the solution, but because HILES does not exist, Adam's solution fails completely rather than just becoming one longer. The corrected scoring for last issue is therefore:

N/A Chris Dawe (prg) 7 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 22 (1)

1st Adam Huby 0 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 15 (0)

2nd= Brendan Whyte 5 + 0 + 2 + 3 = 10 (-4)

2rd= Derek Wilson 5 + 0 + 2 + 3 = 10 (-4)

Entries this issue from just Adam Huby (AH) and Brendan Whyte (BW) this time, Derek having come up with some feeble excuse about going away on holiday, plus answers from Chris Dawe's program (CDp), from Steve Thomas's program (prg) to let us see what can be achieved if one is au fait with Scottish dialect words and obsolete Shakespearean and Spenserian spellings, and from me so that you can all play the extra game of 'beat the GM' (+1 for a shorter answer, -1 for a longer one).

When I'm checking your entries for validity, words tend to fall into one of six categories:

1) Ones I know exist and which I'm sure of the spelling of. I don't check these against the Collins word list.

2) Ones I know exist, but which I'm unsure of the spelling of. I check these but don't report them as a word I didn't recognise.

3) Ones I'm fairly sure exist. I also check these but don't report them as a word I wasn't sure of the existence of.

4) Ones I can well believe exist but which I do not recall ever encountering. Many agent nouns fall into this category. I check these and do report them as a word I wasn't sure of the existence of.

5) Ones that I have no reason to believe exist (most such words that have cropped up previously still fall into this category when they next occur!). I check these and report them as a word I didn't recognise.

6) Words that I initially ascribe to the previous category, only to discover that they are in fact in one of the first two.

AH: [8] BOBBLE - NOBBLE - NOBLE - NOLE - HOLE - HALE - HATE - HATED - DEATH

BW: [8] BOBBLE - NOBBLE - NOBLE - NOLE - HOLE - HALE - HATE - HATED - DEATH

CDp: [8] BOBBLE - BIBBLE - BIBLE - BILE - BITE - BATE - BATH - EATH - DEATH

me: [10] bobble - cobble - cobbler - cobber - comber - comer - homer -

homed - hamed - hated - death

prg: [8] bobble - bibble - bible - bile - bite - bate - bath - beath - death

(and 129 other solutions)

We had 'beath', 'eath' and 'nole' previously in issues 228, 169 and 198 respectively.

* BIBBLE: this is absent with the above meaning, but present with various other meanings, e.g. 'to drink with a dabbling noise'.

My problem with this word pair was that it never occurred to me to aim to eliminate one 'b', so from the outset I was intent on changing the first 'b'. My initial attempt, back when I set the word pair, was at least two steps longer than even the poor one that I finished up with.

AH: [6] SCANNERS - SCANNER - CANNER - CANER - RANCE - RANCH - BRANCH

BW: [6] SCANNERS - SCANNER - CANNER - CANER - RANCE - RANCH - BRANCH

CDp: [6] SCANNERS - SCANNER - CANNER - CANER - RANCE - RANCH - BRANCH

me: [6] scanners - canners - caners - caner - rance - ranch - branch

prg: [6] scanners - canners - caners - rances - rance - ranch - branch

(and 3 other solutions)

My initial solution for this was also at least two steps longer, but fortunately when I came back to it I was able to improve it enough.

AH: [7] HUMOR - MOHUR - MOHR - MOR - MOC - MOCK - MUCK - LUCK

BW: [9] HUMOR - TUMOR - TUTOR - TROUT - TOUT - TOT - TOC - TOCK - TUCK -

LUCK

CDp: [7] HUMOR - MOHUR - MOHR - MOR - LOR - LUR - LURK - LUCK

me: [8] humor - tumor - tutor - trout - rout - rut - ruc - ruck - luck

prg: [7] humor - mohur - mohr - moor - mook - mock - muck - luck

(and 19 other solutions)

We had 'lor', 'mook', 'mor' and 'toc' previously in issues 195, 167, 171 and 185 respectively.

This was the only word pair for which my initial solution survived unimproved, and I'm not surprised that I couldn't improve it. Given how many obscure words are necessary for a 7-step solution, I think Adam did well to find one.

Steve commented "I note that your source of start words this time seems to be American. It is perhaps of interest to note that you can get from HUMOUR to LUCK in seven steps that don't relate much to the routes from HUMOR." Yes, the word list comes from 'On Basilisk Station' by David Weber.

AH: [7] FUELED - FUELER - FEELER - FEEDER - FENDER - FINDER - MINDER -

REMIND

BW: [8] FUELED - FUELER - DUELER - DULLER - MULLER - MILLER - MILDER -

MINDER - REMIND

CDp: [7] FUELED - FUELER - FEELER - FEEDER - FENDER - MENDER - MINDER -

REMIND

me: [8] fueled - dueled - dulled - mulled - milled - miller - milder -

minder - remind

prg: [7] fueled - furled - murled - marled - marred - manred - remand -

remind

(and 18 other solutions)

We had 'marl' (as a verb) and 'murl' previously in issues 132 and 204 respectively.

Having improved my initial solution by at least one step to the above, it really ought to have occurred to me that a further step could be eliminated if FULLED existed, which it does: ten of the program's solutions go via it, and Steve commented (further to the difference in American and British English spellings) that FUELLED to REMIND also takes seven steps about half of which take a first step to FULLED.

1st Adam Huby 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 20 (3)

N/A Chris Dawe (prg) 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 20 (3)

2nd= Brendan Whyte 5 + 5 + 2 + 3 = 15 (0)

At each step you may replace a single letter, rearrange the letters, insert a single letter, or remove a single letter (but the resulting word must contain at least three letters). All intervening steps must be valid words. I shall be using the Collins Scrabble Word Checker as the primary source to check any words I do not recognise. But because that source is now suffering expurgation of offensive words, I shall use the Chambers Word Wizard as a secondary source. Any word that it is accepted by at least one of these sources is valid here. Any word that is rejected by both is not valid here. Not as nice and simple as it used to be before the expurgation started.

If any of you would like to be sent a reminder for the Word Puzzle whenever I don't have orders from you, please let me know.